This is the First chapter of a Book I'm compiling, but it is my testimony for those that wondered about my backstory. I don't mind sharing it as it had a few miraculous moments that I wanted to highlight how Good our Lord God is. The book is a diary of my prophetic journey prophesy by prophesy since 2020. Here is the first Chapter:

Chapter 1 How Did I get Here ? 

How far does one go back to tell their story? I’ve rewritten this chapter numerous times to find a way into this story. I don’t mind opening my background for all to see the ugly and the good but this book isn’t about me. It’s about the power of the Lord who drew me back to serve in this Kingdom Age. I’ll go back a bit just to cover events I had where I KNOW without question that I was touched by the Lord Our God.

 A good number of years ago I found myself addicted via a pain center to Fentanyl patches, oxycodone and muscle relaxers to mask back pain I had from years of doing manual labor, warehousing, welding working with some steel etc. First let me say this is not disparaging words about addicts but my experience. Addiction is a very dark place and only by bringing it into the Light of the Lord Our God do we free ourselves of them.  

 If you are addicted to substances please ask God to take the spirit of addiction from you and seek help from someone who can deliver you. I got so bad I would hold onto my oxy until night and then stack a bunch of it to get the full effect. This meant I was nodding out just as a heroin addict would in this semi unconscienced state. On no less that 4-5 occasions I had nodded out and was pretty under the influence of the drug and my breathing was shallow. 

 I was close to OD’ing and at the time my hair was long, I had laid out on the couch and I felt an extremely hard pull on my hair which woke me up. I was startled but thought I was just dreaming I guess (which you might think in a drug induced stupor). I nodded back off and my hand was dangling off the couch when I felt a grip around my wrist and was pulled fairly violently. Ok now I’m freaked out, like what was that. That apartment had a few spooky things happen that I won’t give the enemy credit for. However that rattled me so I sat up breathing hard and tried to work it out in my head what just happened.

 For a long while I was certain it was something evil. Years later I reasoned the truth was my guardian angel was trying to keep my silly self alive. This happened as I said 4 or 5 times. Fast forward a few months and we were in a new apartment and something that was probably the best thing that could have happened. It was traumatic at the time we lost our insurance due to layoffs. Hence our insurance was termed and my pain meds were going bye-bye. I struggled and gathered all the opioids I could find, any old scripts whatever to have enough to take a super small dose to keep out of detox. This worked for a few weeks but the inevitable happened and it was time to go cold turkey.

 My heart breaks for anyone that has to ween off of opioids that way as it is the most miserable thing to go through. Of course I did it to myself so I was just harvesting that which I had sown. That said, the detox for that drug is one of skin sensations that I called creepy crawly feelings on the legs and arm. Incredible depression and weeping, discomfort in all the muscles and no sleep. After almost a week I got suicidal. I had razor blades in my tub, I thought about jumping off the third floor of our apartments and then was looking at rope. I fell onto my bed weeping and crying out to God, ‘Lord please help me I’m so uncomfortable and don’t want to go through this, I just want to die’ (paraphrased I’m not sure the exact words).

 Then an amazing thing happened. I was no stranger to all sorts of drugs and I can say with God as my witness that what happened next was no hallucination. I felt two loving hands on my back by my shoulders and I wasn’t frightened by them. They pushed me down in the bed a good three or four inches and held me there. I eventually shifted my shoulders as I thought it was my wife in the room and the pressure subsided. I was able to sleep that night for the first time in a week so I ask my wife the next day why did you push on me last night? She said what are you talking about I didn’t come into your room. Ok, now I was sure it was the Lord or an Angel. It felt so calming.

 Do you know that after that touch I never touched opioids again (outside of a hospital stay)? I was even given a full bottle of morpheme and flushed it down the toilet. I was hospitalized a few times and needed pain meds for my back as the hospital beds kill me when I have to lay on them. As soon as I was done with the hospital I was right back to no craving. A story too long to tell but I then had to help someone else going through meth addiction. Give them shelter, get them sorted out and deal with a lot of sketchy stuff to get their children back from child protected services. I feel the Lord gave me my freedom so I could help the other party get free of the dragon. 

 Fast forward a few years and I started using Medical Marijuana to control ‘pain’. I did good for a while then started using stronger and stronger concentrates and was still smoking cigarettes. I did this for several years and I still had lots of anger issues. I prayed to the Lord but it would serve me right if he didn’t listen. He did though, eventually I saw something about near death experiences and watched several episodes. 

 Something told me to start reading the bible, so I vowed to read at least 45 minutes every night. I was enthralled in the stories and read straight through, I had no idea where to start. This was during the pandemic and I was tired of smoking after 45 years of it and the dispensary was getting to be a big hassle going there and waiting in line outside under a tent 6’ apart waiting an hour or more just to get inside to get my meds. The pain control was sketchy some strains worked well some didn’t. I wasn’t sleeping well.

 Then one morning I got an impression to quit smoking. Just put them down it was a voice I hadn’t heard before. I laid down a pack and haven’t touched them since. Then I reasoned in my mind, well God probably doesn’t mind my concentrate as long as it’s for pain. Well the impression I got was no you should quit using it. I then answered back in my mind, ok as soon as I finish these last 5 grams (about 5 days’ worth) I’ll quit and not go get more. That apparently wasn’t a good answer because I felt more and more that no I need to quit now. I lingered a few more hours did a little bit more and finally I took the final 5 grams and tossed them in the trash along with my vapes and smoking paraphernalia.

 I felt so liberated, I didn’t have to go get product. I didn’t have to worry driving if I was under the influence or not. I also gained an incredible amount of money back I was blowing on it. The devil is a liar, the pain wasn’t that bad and all the drugs did was brought me away from God and kept me from doing what the Lord wanted me to do.

 The fear of quitting was worse than the quitting. I didn’t know the purpose then but I knew my prayer life increased as did my scripture reading. I would encourage anyone with addictions, deal with them the Lord will help you with them and what he takes away won’t come back as long as you keep your focus on him and listen not to the enemy. No cravings and I don’t EVER want to go back to any of that.

 So that my Friends and Family is my story, there is more to it but that's the high and low points I feel like sharing. I'll let everyone know if and when this book goes to publishing.